I want to begin this post with an update or two.  Lately we received information from “African Joe” that one of the pastors we worked with in Africa lost his second wife to complications with cancer.  If this weren’t enough I guess he was severely beaten by someone while at the airport.  He is such a kind and gentle man this news grieved us all.  Please keep Pastor Harry Insaido in your prayers.  Next after a long time of not hearing from Andy he made contact with us via video call in Windows Live Messenger.  I believe God is really doing something but there’s a long way to go, it’s a painful process but I feel hope somehow too.  Mom talked to the pastor we’ll visit while in Ireland…he sounds really great and has been brought up in the things of God by African Joe…this is just sounding better and better!  That’s the recent news now onward and upward.

I think most everyone can remember where they were when 9/11’s horror found us.  I remember being the house that Lovely and I had found and rented for the missionary team that came with my mom to minister with us in the Philippines.  We were having a pastor’s convention at a camp located up in some hills not far out of the city.  It was a lot of work in the brutal heat but I felt very good about it.  The meeting place had only a thin tin roof that gathered the sun’s heat and radiated it down on us all throughout the day.  We still danced with the people during praise and then suffered the soar muscles from dancing on the concrete floor while we rang out our sweat drenched clothes.  We would get home at night completely exhausted yet satisfied with the work that was being done.  Local terrorist activity had been ramping up the entire time we were in the Philippines with everything from bombings to kidnappings and beheadings for shock and awe.  We began to feel unsafe in our home because it was a lot of foreigners in one place.  One night we came hone and I was taking a few minutes to compose and send e-mail.  I was on AOL then so I’d type up the mail then go on-line for a few minutes just to send and receive mail.  It would come up on the news page first and foremost.  There wasn’t cable modems there at that time so the page loaded up slowly.  It was shortly after eleven PM when the images of the twin towers loaded up on my screen.  I couldn’t breath as the the words terrorist attack came up and the horror of so many people dying at once because of a purposeful and cowardly attack on innocent people…this wasn’t the hell that war brings this was death brought by fanatics that know nothing of God rather they brought what the devil always brings:  death and destruction.  I numbly went up to the upper level of the house to inform the team that America had been attacked.  One of our team members was on the phone with their daughter talking about the attack.  It was a horrible thing to be in another country where some rejoiced over this attack and know that we were personally in terrible danger now more than ever.

Davao was electrified over 9/11 separatist Muslim extremists were already fighting government forces and many had already been killed.  The city put soldiers on the streets and it’s a terrifying thing to be in the middle of that not just for yourself but with family…my own children who were also very young were there as well.  I don’t know how to describe how it is unless a person has been in another country.  The police and the military often bring no comfort because they have a reputation of being involved with various kidnappings and murder.  Seeing them everywhere and realizing that the weapons they have could be turned on you and your family as well as anyone else drains the life right out of you.  We immediately contacted the US embassy and our travel agent that informed us that we needed to get out immediately because there was no longer a guarantee that the airlines would honor our tickets…not the kind of news we wanted to hear.  Leaving the house now brought a lot of unwanted attention…some of this I’m sure was paranoia but not all of it.  going out for food or whatever made you feel like hiding every chance you got.  Seeing armored cars everywhere and wondering if those you’d left at home were safe while you went out was a crushing weight to bear.   I realized that our plan to stay in the Philippines was over and done.  Everything changed…the earth had stood still but now it was moving in a direction that was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.  The world had changed forever in a single moment. 

Pastor Andayan was dying…he had a terrible attack of pain and he gripped me while telling me:  “Joe, don’t forget the church here in the Philippines.”  That statement haunts me to this day, you see I can’t walk away.  I know that hard things have been there between Andy and I but I can’t surrender my promise to Pastor…I won’t let it go.  We made it home by a complete miracle of God…the news of Pastor Andayan’s death crushed me but salt to the open wound was the news that Anday had walked away from all we believe about God.  He denied the existence of the trinity and gathered a cult who now called him “Tatay” which means Father.  I sent him letters including one that said the bible says to call no man your Father for we have one Father and that’s God in heaven…no reply.  Our hearts were broken and all felt lost to us.  Years went by as we tried to live with the wound that would not close or heal.  Doors were beginning to open for travel yet not for the Philippines again….rather the land of the Rising Sun had opened an impossible door.  I’d resisted Lovely and her wish to visit her mother there.  It was a feeling that I just couldn’t bear it.  I felt something like this after the things that happened to me in India but now it had a fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me feeling to it but once you’re in the grip of destiny you hear the voice of God and you cannot resist so I followed that familiar call and couldn’t stop myself….here is a song…I know it’s not talking about the subject but I take it to express the terrible hurt I have mingled with a hope I am afraid to have concerning ministry: 

Here we are rolling around to another weekend already.  I see Memorial Day approaching and with that I see everything good thing around me as something that I owe to God and our soldiers who have fought and fight for our freedom.  I once again solute our soldiers for their sacrifice.  I recently bought an album by Queensryche called “American Solider”.  It is dedicated to American soldiers and it’s incorporation of soldier’s testimonies strikes a powerful chord with me.  I highly recommend it for those that may be interested.  I bought mine via i-tunes.

Before I get into the reason for my title I want to share some photos of the season here in Montana.  The last blog contained some pictures of a wonderful flowering tree in our neighbor’s yard in some really unusual light that a sunset brought.  I saw the tree in less dramatic light and want to share it with you .  These trees are everywhere now and the smell is so wonderful…it makes me very glad I don’t have allergies.  We’ve had some very warm days that are summer like then cool downs on the end of storms that pass through .  It makes me wonder what this summer will hold for us.  My daughter had her final ballet of the season and we got her a bouquet that we all enjoy now .  Doesn’t it just speak of spring and summer ?  This is my favorite picture back dropped by the sapphire skies that I love so much in Montana .  The trees are finally beginning to trust that they can put out their new leaves and I just love the color green they have .  The strawberries are looking good…hopefully we’ll get a few before the birds get to them .  This is a close-up of the flowering trees that are everywhere now…this is one of the two in our front yard . 

Next I’ve got some of my favorite that came from a walk Lovely and I took.  This sunset was dazzling from start to finish .  I know that when it’s like this I need to keep my camera handy and watch as it evolves but while that’s happening I capture other things that catch my eye…I just like this shot somehow.  These little blossoms are a real treat too.  I turn around and then look at this !  Lovely and I start our route occasionally looking for more sunset shots .  There’s a part of our route that’s very straight and from here I can get a few more good ones then at the top of the street there’s some nice trees and the sunset becomes just heartbreakingly beautiful .  I love the bench in this one .  Lovely sat and looked at it and I love how she’s outlined in the wonderful light !  We thought we were about done then but seeing this tree and the dilapidated hut we couldn’t let it go .  It was a glorious walk !  None of this would hold the same beauty if we couldn’t be free…again thank you Lord and thank you American soldiers for fighting for such beautiful things that we can enjoy with our families.

The title of this blog describes well what began to come between Andy and I on the mission field.  He had stars in his eyes the minute he started traveling and especially after seeing America for the first time.  He began to think to himself that maybe there was some money to be had with the ministry and why not?  He felt that he could use his tremendous charisma to involve himself with a big ministry that would bring him some real money and a life he’d always dreamed of.  Once he felt he couldn’t get that from our ministry….in spite of the things we’d one such as build a church for them he began to try to involve himself with any flavor of the month big ministry that came through.  I began to notice the trouble not just in Andy’s growing sullenness but when he began to not show up for meetings we had planned and using our vehicle without our permission to run these ministers around that we were in for some real trouble.  He would also involve people in various money making schemes using his position as pastor to involve them in products they not only didn’t need but couldn’t use for any practical purpose.  It grieved me to no end to see this and I confronted him on many occasions about it.  I couldn’t force him but I did warn him that I didn’t feel right about it and that as a pastor in particular he had a responsibility to his people.  These problems sharpened as time went on but there’ seemed to be nothing I could do or say that would change his mind so Lovely and I occupied ourselves with ministry that we could and finding a house for the ministry team that my mom was bringing in the months to come.  It’s not so easy in a third world nation to do this nor was it easy to continue to negotiate with the builders on my mother in law’s house that we were staying in.  Pressure with Andy and Steve in our house while it was so hot and dirty with the construction didn’t help.  I knew we were heading for a crisis but saw no way to stop it.

It’s funny how all things pre-9/11 were.  The difficulties were there but didn’t seem as severe.  The rising tide of trouble from the direction Andy was going while his father sickened was bad enough but I didn’t have any idea just how bad it could get.  Some missionaries were captured by Muslim extremists and beheadings and kidnappings were everywhere.  I grew more and more concerned for my family.  Times were changing even then.  Our life seemed wrapped up in construction and realtors.  It made the horrors of the beheadings they show in full detail on tv seem muted somehow…weird how you learn to live with such monstrous things…it almost feels like your new normal when you’re in it.  Even then I think we were in survival mode and used our very busy schedule like a sort of barrier between us and the bad things happening.  Busy or not we were approaching a line that once crossed would change absolutely everything.

Well, I got my tire replaced and it went well, it’s not a permanent thing but will do for now, I’m glad to have it off my back and be blogging instead of doing that.  I’ve been working on using my manual settings on my camera and seeing what I can do with that and it’s been kind of fun though it still seems like kind of a shot in the dark sometimes to get the photo I want.  I will share some of my experiments and you can enjoy them or not as you will.  Our weather is still struggling to decide what it’s going to do so most of our days are various shades of gloomy but when the sun shows itself through the clouds I rejoice in the glory of the blue I can see .  Sometimes we get about every kind of weather you can imagine in one day, cold, hot, cloudy, clear rain to sort of a light hail…schizophrenic if you ask me .  We have actually had some fairly strong storms come through but nothing nearly as exciting as I like…it looks pretty threatening though I’d say .  Weather like this can bring me inside to try to photograph one of the most difficult of subjects:  Gabby.  She doesn’t often cooperate and I have far less patience than Lovely does to capture her on film .  Sometimes I think that the only way to get her on film is to catch her sleeping which is rare too .  Every once in a while a gem like this comes along and I’m blown away seeing how beautiful she really is …here she was winding down after eating some cookies…I pretended to be fiddling with my camera and got this picture…boy was I pleased! 

Outside when it cleared off to give some beautiful sunshine I captured this picture of some of Lovely’s Mother’s Day flowers…I really like them !  Next we had an unusual sunset that inspired both Lovely and I to go out and take some pictures of the blossoming trees…it was a very strange light and honestly now that I see how it looks in the picture I don’t like how it turned out but this is my favorite of the lot that evening .

Next I want to relate an experience that happened to us in the Philippines that was such a blessing.  We would often go far out of town away from our house that was under construction and have a meeting in a village.  I loved doing that because these seemed like my kind of people.  They were simple and down to earth.  Relating to them wasn’t too difficult because Andy was a fantastic interpreter…one of the most gifted I’ve ever worked with in fact.  He used to tease me saying he was actually an “interrupter” but this was not at all true.  I learned some of the local dialect and loved to use that while he then switched to English on the fly…people really seemed to enjoy that too.  He was spontaneous and had a great sense of humor too.  Describing our little city here in America could be tricky…they understood…or thought they did about America but had never heard of this strange and wondrous state called Montana.  They would scratch their heads and chatter amongst themselves when I’d mention our state then Andy would say:  “It’s near California” then they would not their heads knowingly like they finally had it all figured out…I still smile at the old familiar situation.  How do you describe a place that has snow which they’ve never experienced and a country that has states bigger then their entire country?  It forces one to be creative and I liked being stretched.  I fully believe that Christ has a special place in His heart for such communities…he came from the small town of Bethlehem after all!  I appreciated the experience I had abroad because it helped give me context finding the little things here and there that these places had in common then related it to Montana.

I loved the journey too in our little jeep too.  Seeing the countryside of this foreign land that had no become our home never got old to me.  Seeing orchids everywhere like common grass was amazing, the palm trees and thick jungle was totally exotic to me and I felt so privileged to witness things that many never see…this was my backyard!  I felt alive and my family was here with me.  The children had adapted so well that it was amazing, they loved the culture, the food, the climate and our simple way of life brought a peace to my soul…though it takes time to adapt believe me.  The thought of living here didn’t worry me a bit.  I thought of this as we neared the place we would minister.  We were hoping to buy a turkey that we would have for a Thanksgiving that we never would spend in the Philippines…though none of us knew at the time how soon we would actually be going back to America. 

Finally the jeep stopped at a clearing in the jungle and we began to pile out to follow a trail in the tall grass toward the small village and the four poles that held the roof above our heads…there were no walls at the meeting place.  I was about to reach for my bible when I realized I left it back at the jeep.  Steve volunteered to go get it for me.  Some time passed and finally he came back…white as a ghost and shaking like a leaf.  I asked him what on earth had happened and he said:  “S…s….sn….sn….snake…a big snake!”  He said that he retrieved my bible and on the way back a very large snake curled in on itself so quickly that it looked like a big bike tire as it escaped through the tall grass.  Some of the people over heard this and said one word:  “Banocan”  I was not familiar with this word until later but knew that it was a dangerous thing.  They said that this snake had attacked people on that trail before and it was very aggressive.  We thanked God and moved on with the service. 

It was quite nice there in that area and as I taught my eyes kept being drawn to a gigantic mango tree that was split nearly down the middle.  It was so overburdened with fruit that the tree couldn’t sustain the branches anymore.  I had an open vision of Jesus next to that tree.  He lovingly approached the tree and began to pick the fruit from that tree.  Each fruit he turned over in his hand and carefully placed it in a basket he had with him.  Surprisingly though He took his time but the basket was quickly filling with fruit.  Immediately I understood the meaning of this vision.  The fruit represented mankind…the burden of sin had broken the tree but he had no desire that any would perish and therefore was harvesting the fruit which he loved dearly.  This is exactly why our ministry does what it does…we are carrying on this work and it is a tremendous blessing to be a part of it.

I finished my teaching and we ate with the people there…it was very enjoyable and felt so comfortable.  I don’t take offerings at meetings like this and so I was quite surprised when they said they had an offering for us.  I was about to refuse when they brought in the offering….it was a box absolutely full of mangos!  Immediately I took this as a commission from God and received the offering gladly.  My friends, this mission will always be in my heart, no matter what country we find ourselves.  The harvest truly is great but few are the laborers…send us Lord for we will surely go where you command.  I love the harvest and I love the Lord of the harvest.  Truly this was the richest offering I had ever received.

I think that one of the biggest challenges to me personally as a missionary to some very dangerous places was to involve my family into this adventure with me.  Lovely and I discussed this at length together before we were married and had agreed to travel as a family but discussion is one thing actuality can be something else altogether.  Danielle was born in Boise and thing were moving along for us to return to my home state of Montana where our son would be born.  Michael’s birth really felt like something we were prepared for.  We were excited and blessed at his arrival and felt that this would be our last child.  We were a party of four and that felt really solid.  I felt that we should take the chance to visit family in the Philippines and make our first journey as missionaries as well. 

Lovely was not nearly the fan of this whole idea as I was but I won out in the end.  Mike was very young as was Danielle at this point but they traveled remarkably well.  We were highly impressed with them.  They were able to carry Filipino passports because they were allowed duel citizenship which helped us tremendously in customs.  We brought our friend Steve with us who later would serve two tours of duty in Iraq but at the time we had no idea about any of that.  I say with all honesty that I’ve never had a better mission team in my life than my own family.  They seem born to that kind of life.  They didn’t complain about the heat, the conditions, the different food nor would I have guessed if I met them there that they had always lived there. 

We moved into the little house my mother in law wanted expanded…we would oversee the construction and deal personally with the contractor…an experience I will never forget.  Our house had a corrugated tin roof that magnified the heat and no fence at the time.  Fortunately the neighborhood was very good to us and we made friends who watched out for us.  It’s an amazing thing to live like that.  We bought eggs fresh from farmers, had milk brought fresh and even had pork that we bought directly from the owner of the pigs and then went out from that little house to minister all over the country to little churches and villages to minister.  I can’t describe the beauty of seeing this dream come true. 

Poor Steve slept on a mat in the tiny living room because the other parts of the house were not complete.  Things were in various states of disrepair for the months we were there but in spite of this we were happy.  Problems were beginning to be more and more evident with Andy however.  His father was obviously extremely ill and getting worse and Andy was attaching himself to ministries that I won’t mention by name but will say that they were indulging in some teachings and behavior that raised my eyebrows more than once.  I heard some of them come and belittle the people because the church was only a neepa hut and didn’t have air conditioning and besides this they said that according to prosperity should have a better vehicle…all the while they were borrowing our vehicle to hand out fliers for their own meetings.  I talked to these ministers personally and have to say it wasn’t right.  I think Andy really got a taste of what it could mean if he became part of such a ministry…and I believe that this is something that played a part in what eventually really came between us. 

I will tell of more stories of the adventures we had later on but for now I thought I’d share some pictures.  Here’s Lovely, Andy and I at the internet cafe trying to get an e-mail off to the US…it was a long old haul to get to the cafe so we made our time count…like our matching shirts  ?  Mike had no trouble with Filipino barbecue !  Lovely and Mike at the store…we needed lots of stuff to make our home seem a little more like home .  What do you do when it’s hotter than hot…well, you adapt and adopt a Filipino siesta of course !  Andy walks Danielle and Mike and their cousin down the road in front of their house…this one makes me miss those days .  What did our vehicle look like you ask…why let me show you .  I’m sure we could fit another person on what do you think?  Mike learns to defend his food while in the jungle ..okay it’s not the jungle it’s Jollibee…the Filipino McDonalds LOL!  Danielle was always too much the little lady to resort to such tactics .  What happens when dengue fever mosquitoes are spreading?  Send around someone to wipe them (and us) out…yes, they even came into our house…another reason to pray about our health !  It wasn’t all heaven or all hell but over all there was not a single day in which God wasn’t evident.  the adventures will continue but this is to wet your appetite for today.