This morning I read in Ezekiel about how Israel had a saying that sounded like it could work very easily for today:  Time makes a liar of every prophet.  God said after that He would make them change this word and they'd learn to respect the true prophets of God.  I can see this attitude alive and well in the church today.  We have sort of a yeah right attitude towards God.  We proclaim that we want relief and want to hear God speak but when He does we blow Him off and say there's no way that will ever happen.  Who's fault is this?  God's or ours?  I know that I've had a hardened heart especially recently.  It's like I still believe God will work it out but I limit His ability to move with my unbelief.  Man never seems to change in that we limit God and then blame Him for our own unwillingness to believe.  I hear the cry of the man who said Lord I believe help thou my unbelief.  This is truly my heart's cry because I know my own wicked heart which has the audacity to ask God to help when I get myself into messes with my own stupid choices and then resent Him because I didn't listen in the first place.  Mark chapter 4 discusses the good seed of God versus the condition of our hearts.  God only brings good things to our lives...it may not look it at the time but eventually God always has our best interest in mind.  Mark describes the different things that remove the good things God has planted in our lives.  Interesting that how we respond to what happens in our life directly effects how blessed we feel.  I'm a very firm believer in the power of God to effect changes for the better in our life.  I don't believe that a person can change someone else.  The power to change is within us all but what will we do with that power...choose to remain the same?  Stay in the negative patterns that has a cycle of death that we endlessly repeat?  Farmer's grow crops that are usually bigger than what only one family could eat...this is how he makes a profit with what he's grown.  We also can grow crops that effect an area far greater than our own lives.  Do we want to spread around a little more misery in life or offer something good?  Only God's fruit is good, only things that direct us to Him our good.  There's no neutral crop.  God help us to plant wisely and help us not to uproot the good sees you've planted.  Hating life is nothing but death.  God is life but how we view life effects everything...hate God you hate life...hate life you've become a tool of the enemy.

2 Timothy chapter two has and interesting note that is in one of the last versus of the chapter.  It's talking about the job of a minister...I believe all Christians are ministers one way or another...is to instruct those that oppose themselves.  This serves to back up what I've believed to be true for a very long time.  I have always believed that many of the things that we perceive to be the failure of God or the victory of the devil is rather a result of misunderstandings we have within ourselves.  The result of these misunderstandings results in destructive lifestyles and pent up frustrations that leads to terrible depression and unproductive lifestyles....you oppose yourself.  It says here in 2 Timothy that we should instruct those that oppose themselves...I can start with me here so that God will give us repentance.  This is interesting to me because it shows that as long as we oppose ourselves we can't receive repentance...without repentance there can be no change.  We often fear repentance because we feel it leads us to a place where we have to admit wrong in front of the whole world but this is not the goal of repentance.  Repentance above all else leads to a positive change...once you've reached that you can do anything through Christ who strengthens you.  medication won't do it...positive thinking not based on God's Word will always be lacking but a full agreement with the plan of God is essential to amount to anything in this life.  It's ironic that we limit ourselves and then blame God for our own unwillingness to listen to Him.  I really like the last two versus because of the wording used here.  It says by acknowledging the truth causes us to recover ourselves out of the snare of the devil who are taken captive by him at his will.  There's always a choice.  I don't believe that we have to succumb to depression or the hopelessness Satan tries to bring our way.  Christ remains the only escape.  No doctor can prescribe Him.  No preacher can force you to follow the way, no time in prison will ever truly reform you.  Christ is the way, the truth and the life.  He offers us freedom but will we take it?

I just have a short note today but it's worth it to take note.  I just read 2 Timothy 1: 7.  I love this so much in these days of high stress and difficulty.  It says that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind...actually in the New Living Translation it says Self Discipline instead of sound mind...I like that.  There are many excuses to let the mind run wild these days.  It's been a huge struggle for me as the devil is very subtle in his devices.  He creeps in and quietly redefines the thoughts that I have.  Here's and example:  often I find that I'm sitting and really just worrying about something...and someone will ask how I'm doing and I will find myself saying that I've been praying about it.  Truth is I've been worrying not just thinking about it or casting that care on the Lord.  These things quietly slip in and we are being devastated from the inside out.  God didn't bring this to us...He brought power and love and self discipline.  I've heard it said that soldiers that perform well in combat are just as terrified as everyone else but in spite of that they do the right thing...this is self discipline.  Power in difficulty isn't necessarily what you'd think.  It can be the quiet refusal to change your mind about what God has told you.  This is holding fast your profession.  Difficulty can give us the first instinct to run away and do things we should not do which only make the situation worse.  God's self discipline helps us resist this impulse and give us the ability to do the right thing though it may not be easy.  Everything in life has a cost but paying for doing right always has a reward...suffering for wrong has no benefit and leaves a person in worse shape than they were before.  I pray for a strengthening resolve to do right today not just for myself but for my family and for the people we know and love.

Ah, the struggle continues for me.  The good things that God has spoken is fighting a raging war with negative things daily life brings.  There are times when the devil speaks things so loudly that you'd swear he was right there.  During these times as always God brings the solution and I'm very grateful for that.  Right now we are in the middle of making choices about things that will effect us in the future and during those times it's important not to be swayed by all the voices out there that life has to offer.  1 Timothy chapter 6 and verse 10 talks about how the root of all evil is the love of money...my dad likes to bring up the fact that it's not money but the love of money.  I think it goes beyond that because it wasn't the love of money that brought the devil to where he is right now...what did?  Really I believe that the love of money is actually selfishness...getting what you can for you and who cares about anybody else?  Selfishness isn't some middle of the road path you can take that doesn't hurt anyone.  God made us to think of somebody else and not dwell on our own lives.  There's no heroism, no good deed or righteous act ever committed in selfishness..it doesn't do one positive thing.  I believe that selfishness is the root of all evil.  It goes on to say that many have pursued this course and have erred from the faith and pierced themselves with many arrows.  Only the devil could think of such a thing.  Selfishness puts '#1' first supposedly but ironically you only hurt yourself and everyone else when you pursue what you want to do at all costs yet many will fight to the death to follow this course and not only resent people that try to help but have some real animosity towards any that would interfere with their plans.  What does God offer as a solution here?  Quite simply He says in verse 11 to flee these things...any way you can get away from it do it.  I know that when I sink into depression...a nice little benefit of selfishness, the best thing I can do is think of someone else and pray for them or do something for someone else...I feel better almost immediately.  It goes on here to say follow after righteousness...the things that the bible says are good, godliness...doing things that God would do, faith...way better than doubt that paralyzes you...believe me, love, patience, meekness...these are things to follow.  It continues and says to fight the good fight of faith.  It's not easy...our mind fights these things...not reading the bible or praying or not going to church doesn't help our mind.  Most of us lack discipline that's required to fight this fight and win.  The root word of disciple is discipline.  I know that I need discipline.  I'm good in some areas but in others I fail...and worse I try to justify where I fail.  Satan is easily able to win the battle when we fight this fight for him...let's not agree with him.  There's no good argument to serve yourself and ignore God.  Discipline does have a benefit...it liberates and leads us to the living God which in verse 17 says gives us richly all things to enjoy...other things are uncertain riches...I want good things that are certain...only God is certain.  I'm tired of living like a hamster on a wheel.  There's an escape that goes further than any airplane could travel...it liberates inside where the battles really rage.

1 Timothy chapter four covers a lot of ground in just sixteen verses.  The first part caught my attention today because it seems relevant in the light of all I can see around me these days.  It says in the first verse...the Spirit of God speaks expressly...there's some stress there that in latter times some shall depart from the faith and give heed...or listen to deducing spirits and doctrines of devils.  This is a shocking trend of the day that seems so prevalent now.  Many people who claim to be Christian are in a condition that actually is supportive of the doctrine of the day rather than the Word of God which is the same yesterday, today and forever.  The bible speaks of this as being tossed around by every wind of doctrine.  A belief comes along that's the flavor of the month and it's readily swallowed by Christians because they are not grounded in the bible at all.  Attending church once a month just won't cut it these days.  The doctrines of the devil come from a million sources but have you noticed how narrow the path to heaven is?  Where are the multitude of sources for the Word of God?  We have very few sources for that...there's personal time in the bible and prayer...that's often neglected and then there's the church which seems so inconvenient in a life we live where there's no money for anything.  The sources for demonic doctrine are everywhere.  Friends that don't know or consider the things of God, our work places...pretty much everywhere.  This leads to a life of hypocrisy where you do one thing one place and another when you're somewhere else.  This double life leads to verse two which talks about having a conscience seared with a hot iron.  It's not like things don't bug you but you feel that you've got to do what you've got to do to survive.  The problem with this philosophy is that it seems to devalue spiritual things to being that which doesn't really matter.  Truth is we are spiritual first and foremost.  You can not live without it.  Christians should know this but the pressure we're under in a world that doesn't believe is huge...who will have the courage to stem the tide?  It takes real courage to come to verse 12 and 13 because it talks about a discipline...giving attendance to reading, doctrine and exhortation.  How easy to say you know all this when your very life testifies that you don't know it at all.  God exhorts us in verse 14 to not neglect the gift within us.  Our life isn't a mistake and we are not unable to handle this...we've simply isolated ourselves from the help that He has to offer...we're not in the Word or in prayer nor are we with those that strengthen the call of God rather than weaken it...let's be honest.  The remaining verses speak of meditation and continuing in the biblical things we've been taught...is this fun?  Well, breathing may not be something we'd call fun but it's a necessity.  There's little that more tragic than going through difficulty and then not learning anything....we can run from reality but we can't hide...there's nowhere to go that will make life 'better'.  What's better?  More money but a ruined spiritual life?  I don't think so.  A better life after you give up spiritual things is ever the carrot in front of the nose of a donkey but we never get there no matter how quickly we run.  I hear God calling me back...back to what I've known all along:  He's the way the truth and the life....I don't want to run any more.

Today I found myself in Ezekiel.  The prophets are a fascinating lot.  Funny how people so often seem to have a hard time finding relevance for today in the scripture.  The Word of God is not a regular word that has significance that fades over time.  This is the timeless Word of God that always is relevant because it's the inspired Word of God and as He is timeless so is His Word.  Here in chapter three it's very interesting that Ezekiel is given a scroll to eat.  It says that when he eats it at first it's really sweet as honey in his mouth but as it reaches his stomach it becomes bitter...basically it makes him sick.  I know this all too well in my experience in life.  There's a whole lot of things in life so much like that.  You know, it's something that looks so great now but later on it's surrounded with that old familiar:  "what have I gotten myself into?" feeling.  Region tells you usually that everything with the Word of God is perfect and following the path of God somehow leads you down a path paved with gold and leads to a church of 10,000 yes men and women that buy into anything you say until your personal life is exposed and everyone finds out you're human then they forsake you and God.  Reality is much more....well, realistic.  The Word of God is well described when it's called a sword...a double edged sword.  There's all these beautiful pictures of the sword of the spirit where there's diamonds in the hilt and it's gleaming all over... the perfect sword right?  I envision it far differently these days.  I envision it as not really having much of a handle.  You hold onto the sword of the spirit and that double edge cuts you.  It cuts through the flesh and accurately divides between what's flesh and what's spirit.  Religion offers a fake sword that seems to apply to everyone else and shouts from the rooftops how blessed you are when it's all going well for you...then you publish a bunch of books telling other how to become as wonderful as you are.  Reality is people like you and I that are just trying to do the right thing.  People seem to need heroes but I wonder...are there any real heroes?  Aren't we all just doing the best we can to make it through this life and try to be pleasing to God?  Does that make you a hero?  I guess in some ways it really does but the whole point is that life throws curve balls...I've heard it says that what really makes up your life is how you react to what it throws at you.  Many say that we're victims of our environment but are we?  How is it there can be someone that comes from a privileged life yet uses all that to become nothing more than an evil person?  Others are what you could say unfortunate situations yet become people who are a credit to the human race.  I've taken a bite or two out of life.  I've seen a lot of things the world over and nothing, absolutely nothing makes me see that God isn't worth every bit of service I can offer...small as that may be.  I'm not going to blame God for what I can't understand nor am I going to deny the bitterness that life can be in the belly so to speak but at the same time there's the other side of that sword that cuts through the rotten things in my life and makes a way for me to have relationship with God...that is sweet indeed!

Well, I can't believe that it's that time again for a birthday to be done and gone already.  It seems that there's so many birthdays at the church now that every single month is booked so when my own comes along it's kind of anti-climaxal.  I have a lot to be thankful for today.  I'm so glad that mom came out of the appointment with the doctor with pretty much a clean bill of health and that there's some great things to look forward to this year.  We heard again from our dear friends in Japan and it looks better and better for the Land of the Rising Sun!  There's so much that I can't wait to show mom and the team when they go!  There is a mystique that is thrilling with Asia if you've ever been there you know what I'm talking about.  Europe has it's own treasures as does Africa but right now my sites are set on Japan which to me is just exactly what Asia should be.  There's an air of one of the most ancient cultures in the world there that I can just sit back and breath deep.  I'm thankful for good friends who were very good to me on my birthday.  Steve and Tim came over last night and we watched the movie Steve got for me:  "Flags of Our Fathers".  I enjoyed the show and the company.  I'm ever thankful for the good things and people that God has placed in my life.  I got some nice stuff playing on my I-Pod and the extras I got for my birthday for it make all the more sweet.  Thank God for another year but most of all I thank God for the good years to come!

No Time Like the Present
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Blogging

Lately I've had my eyes so set on the future and the things that are coming up that it's hard for me to envision what I'm doing right now as very significant.  There's not a thing in the world wrong with having a vision...fact is you really wither away without something in the future to look forward to.  The problem is that many times I find that I spend my days ever waiting and not even holding on to the promise of God that can make the future worth fighting for.  I believe that prayer is not what many think it is.  It is not some kind of code to make God do what you want Him to do but rather a way in which you finally subject your will to His and agree with where He's taking you.  The Bible says that you can't say what you're going to do tomorrow because it belongs to God...how can you say I'm going to travel here or there when the future doesn't belong to you?  You can't do anything about the past or the future but today you can certainly submit to God.  The Muslims seem to think that submission has to do with everyone else.  If people don't agree with you then you label them "infidel" and kill them or bring them into subjection anyway you can and justify whatever atrocities you commit by saying that 'they' are infidels and therefore not deserving of any mercy.  Today I was reading in Matthew chapter twenty-four where the Lord cautions us to not be found being lazy, getting drunk and basically slacking off when He returns.  It says that we don't know the day or the hour of His return so we should not become apathetic but rather keep ourselves in an attitude of submission to His will and be found doing what we can for today in preparation for tomorrow.  It says that if you don't do this you will be caught unprepared and given the portion of hypocrites.  This is not some kind of threat or scare tactic to make you do something but a reality of life.  Lately our whole family really struggled with sickness and it showed me just how helpless I am (again thank you Tricia A. for the help you've been!).  Today is not the rest of our lives but at the same time that doesn't take the value away from today.  The bible says that today is the day of salvation...therefore it's never a wasted day.  I'm more and more convinced that the old familiar helpless feeling has more to do with my lack of faith where deep down I believe that God will move but at what cost to me?  How much pain will I endure before it 'works out'?  I know this:  I don't understand everything but I do know God is always good.  I like the words of a song by Stryper that says:  "Jesus Christ is the lover of our souls and He loves to give us all we need!"  That's the truth!  Today I make a choice again not to accept defeat or look at today's mistakes as a sign that I'm a mistake or the there's no hope for the future!  I refuse to be helpless today or say that someday I may be this or that or be here or there.  Today I'm right where God wants me to be and that the trend I choose to set for the future.  I don't want the portion of hypocrites that says one thing but doesn't really believe it.  I believe Lord, help my unbelief!