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December 26 Ghost of Christmas PastI was going to continue my usual blogging bliss today however a special treat came to me in the form of Lovely's memory card from her camera. There's pictures on there which I am delighted to be able to share with you all today. We had a delightful Christmas this year, largely possible because of some money that was unexpectedly given us. It's a miracle every year and this was no exception...I thank God for His endless mercy and love towards us. Lovely's camera is far beyond mine as is her camera savvy, I'm much more spur of the moment but our styles have complimented each other well I think. Here's our tree and nutcracker army Gabby has been more excited this year as she's beginning to figure the whole process out There's little that brings as much joy as the wonder in a little girl's face on Christmas morning It's a big day for little kids you know? There's the come down
I don't often have pictures of myself here so this is a rare "treat" don't you think This year once again the creative juices were flowing and Lovely infested our house with a Christmas mouse I was truly blessed by people and their love for us and those I know here on-line that are equally kind. God's blessing is so often found in the milk of human kindness and I've seen that so many ways this year. I've seen the blessing of God in my family here and around the country. Words can't express just how blessed I am for that! The new year is approaching and that's something I can face without fear because indeed perfect love casts out all fear and I've experienced nothing less than this on so many levels. Thank you one and all! I pray that your Christmas was blessed as mine was December 19 My True Love Gave to Me....This is just a little note for you all. I really loved the pictures and the post the Lovely did last night and thought I'd give you all a heads up to check that out via the link on my main page if you're interested. Also I have the new album's music playing now so please feel free to check it out. Blessings to everyone! December 18 13 Christmas TreesIt's been thirteen years, thirteen Christmas trees that Lovely and I have put up now. We've been married thirteen years. Some have a superstitious fear of the number 13 but for me I have a supernatural peace and sense of the divine intervention of God. I look outside at the bleakness that only below zero weather can bring My wife's name really is Lovely, it's not a pet name I have for her...it's her name and well named she is! She remains my desert rose...the crimson in my white. She was only eighteen when we married and I only twenty-three. She's still as beautiful as I remember the day I met her We celebrated our first Christmas in the tropics...the Philippines with our tree. Did she know she was the greatest gift God had given me? Did she know she was the missing piece to my broken soul? God moved mountains to bring us together and moved still more to bring us to the United States where both we and our children breathe free. Who could have foreseen the limitless joys and terrible sorrows we've known together? Three times the fruit of our love has blossomed into something far beyond just us two. Our first...barely made it to be born here in America...the most perfect little baby I've ever seen...the one who still brings tears to my eyes...now thirteen years old. Our second...our only son in whom I am well pleased. The death of our next...who could have foreseen? I nearly lost Lovely that day with the loss of our baby but God knew I couldn't bear the loss of two. I stand in awe of our third child...not supposed to be...the one they said was impossible to have now nearly three. She is our last but she's the one that binds us together as no other can. We've become what Lovely so perfectly calls "Five Yankees". Though I'm southern born I don't see this as an insult. We are experiencing a cold snap but I never feel left out of the cold thanks to her. We will celebrate our day today and I'm so very grateful for this gift that goes beyond what I could have ever thought to ask for. We have traveled the world together and seen the most amazing things...we've weathered the fierce storms of life and come through more in love than when we first met. I thank God for Lovely C. today and every day...the work God began in 1995 He will continue for many more years I'm sure! I have a PS in this blog today besides these things. Many of you have asked me to put up our music and I have finally done that. I will continue and as soon as I have a chance put up our new album (there's still one more in the works). Here's the cover of the one I received just yesterday December 11 My Reason for the SeasonOur half way point came and went with our concert schedule. We actually were involved with our local festival of trees this year that was held at a large auditorium. Truth be told people seemed more interested in eating and drinking than they were in our playing but none the less I felt good about being there and being a witness for what Christmas is all about. They did have some very nice trees there though it was difficult to get a decent shot of them. I didn't use flash but I'd like to share what I did get. The stage had a bunch of metal trees that were lit up behind us When things get like that it can be hard to enjoy the little things out there that remind you just how much God loves us and life become more of a chore than a blessing. I woke up and was barely able to drag myself out of bed on Sunday. I decided to see if the coffee was ready yet and was greeted by a sunrise that got more beautiful by the moment. At first it wasn't all that spectacular Once this happened I began to think it was about time for some more Christmas themes in my pictures so I took a few that were right there in front of me to enjoy. Here's the top of our tree with the nutcracker army we've been collecting for some years seen in the background We still have some ornaments that remind us of this great country we live in I was going to continue my saga today with my coming home part 2 but I think that will wait for a bit longer for now I'm reminded of the reason for the season that goes beyond ornaments December 04 Coming HomeThis has been quite the season so far. The turkey is long since gone...less than even a shadow of it's former glory I know there has been a lot of change that's come to Spaces, I know this can definitely bring confusion and anger but I just want to encourage you all that beyond the mess this transition has been so far we have each other...nobody can take that away! I remember the times I've been away from loved ones and family at this time of year and I'm just glad to be home...I'm going to be home for Christmas...thank God! Those years ago in India I was plagued with growing horror that I could not explain. Nightmares nightly tormented me and left me exhausted and drained. I remember dreaming over and over again about tornadoes that brought death and took those I loved away or other times disturbing dreams of my family throwing my luggage outside and not wanting me home at all. Romilla encouraged all this saying that those at home were out of God's will and I was to "set them straight". I remember feeling that I was dying mentally and physically but I kept hearing God promise to bring me home again and that my mom and friends would set me free...it seemed to good to be true. I was finding things in the scripture more and more that convinced me that Samuel and Romilla were wrong, wrong about the judgmental and unmerciful god they were preaching...this was not the Jesus I knew and loved...change was coming and yes, I was going home. Mom arrived with some others from our church. Their shock at my condition was evident...just a widening of the eyes, but I saw it clearly. I remember finally getting back to Samuel's house and starting to talk to my mom...I was so broken...I felt God finally, felt that mercy. I wept and could not stop as I related the horrors I'd seen and things I'd experienced. It was like a raging flood breaking through a dam. The time we had some meetings and discussions with Samuel and Romilla were hugely painful. They would not accept our view of a merciful and forgiving God nor believe that a pastor could ever share his vulnerabilities with his congregation and train people with love instead of fear of sin. You may not understand but it hurt me so deeply...I did love them both, I still do, I can't explain it. I tried to eat some of the food that mom brought but it made me horribly sick...I was no longer used to Western food at all. Finally the day came to leave and we were headed out to stop in England. We got our luggage loaded and were preparing to board when we were stopped by security. They insisted I didn't have the proper stamp to leave. Panic and tempers flared as we fought to get on our flight but it was no use...the plane only stopped because British Airways fought on our behalf...they got our baggage and I feel I owe them everything, they did all they could for us. We left in utter shock...my mind was spinning, spinning out of control. Where was God now? Where was my salvation? Didn't He say they'd get me out of here? Was I a dragonfly eaten by a bat after all (see my last post)? We went to a terrible hotel and I sank closer and closer to complete madness...this was the last straw. Mom tried to talk to me but I couldn't hear her prayers or respond...darkness surrounded me and I was sinking to a place I knew I could not return from. I don't remember sleeping, just sitting in the dark. Our night was disturbed by individuals that I know meant us harm and our room lock was broken so we piled our luggage against the door and prayed for morning. We called Samuel to please help us and he came. I don't know what mom prayed...it was like being the living dead...but somehow, something reached me and I felt the madness depart some...I still felt unable to speak but began to sense some peace. A service was going on at Samuel and Romilla's when we returned to their house and they were praying for us..some real warfare. Samuel had been so angry but he couldn't comprehend that we would ever want to leave him or not trust him...there are cultures beyond our Western mind-set, I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying it's hard to grasp. You can learn a language and not get the culture. This lack of understanding leads to wars and countless tragedies. You don't have to agree that someone is right when they do wrong but to grasp why they do what they do makes a huge difference, trust me. I began to see that in their own way these guys really were trying to help us...they were wrong but I began to understand some of the motives. Samuel brought me to the police station to correct the problem with my papers and I began to understand this too: they had wanted a bribe which Samuel had refused to pay and therefor they purposely told him my papers were in order as much as they could be. Samuel blasted the chief of police for what seemed like an eternity...I think I'm glad I couldn't understand Tamil. He sheepishly stamped my passport...such a tiny stamp...I showed this in a previous post as well...still in my pictures I think if you take the time to look. If I remember right it was three days later that I was in London with mom and the team...it took years, I mean literally years to work through the physical illness and mental and emotional problems. I will get into that recovery process later on. I will share how I went from a broken man who had no interest to go abroad ever again to entering the mission field again. For now I'm just thankful to be home, thankful that God did so much to sustain me. I just wish I would have seen it more clearly as I went through all I did. Hindsight is 20/20 it's said...how true! I have a part 2 that I will share next week about my friend who just received Christ...it's a touching testimony that is the crowning glory of blessings I've seen this year but for now I'm wishing you all a Merry Christmas. I know it's tough right now on here but wait and see what we end up with when the smoke clears. I'm thankful for you all! |
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