Samuel and Romilla decided that they would go and visit her family in Mysore, Bangalore.  This was an exciting thing for me because it meant seeing a part of India that I'd never seen before.  Not only was it all new but we would travel by rental car (which came with a driver) and by train.  I had heard of trains in India and if you've ever seen "Gandhi" you may have a picture in your head of the colonial days of yesteryear...I know I did.  Samuel and Romilla were not as friendly with her family because they weren't as religious though they did have a ministry in Mysore.  Samuel loved to give me bits of history and interesting facts about things in India.  He told me in conspiratorial tones that Bangalore was considered the "missionary burial ground".  Many people had gone and attempted to set up churches but had met with disaster.  Just how comforting is that?

Before we set out on this little journey I want to stress again the chaotic democracy that we know of as India.  There's huge differences between the states.  Imagine a form of democracy that allowed for each state to choose entirely different forms of government.  Imagine where you could have elections pretty much on a whim and could decide to be say communist no matter what the federal government was.  Throw in a language barrier that could be profoundly difficult to navigate even for those that had lived in India their whole lives and then add a large rural population that couldn't even speak the national dialect.  People who were completely comfortable in their area, city and state would be about as out of place as a fish out of water.  I know this to a degree I suppose when I travel from my home here in Montana and go to New York but was far more disorienting.  I had begun to get with the swing of things in Tamil Nadu.  I didn't speak the dialect...or at least not much of it but I had grown used to the sound of it...used to their accented English and the food and manner of dress.  All of this can change quite a bit from state to state.  Our driver knew Madras like the back of his hand but once we left his area he was very uncomfortable.

We left in the evening as the heat of the day passed from unbearable to merely exceedingly uncomfortable.  Our car looked like a relic from WWII yet it was a new car...only the design was old.  It never ceased to amaze me how few of the outside chain stores you'd see in India...no McDonalds, no Gap or other such places and they had their own cars and car companies as well.  Our driver did well until we as we drove even through the night.  Our budget was limited and therefore we couldn't afford to stop at a hotel or anything like that.  The good thing about this is that in a country with over one billion people you never have to worry about finding someone up at all hours of the day doing something.  There was always a food vendor we could find or someone selling hot milk tea which they called chai by the way...I guess Starbucks didn't invent that!

Midnight came and went and soon it was very early morning and we were out of Tamil Nadu.  Our driver became more and more uptight as we entered an area where he didn't speak the local dialect and didn't know where to go.  He would stop and ask directions and both he and the person he was talking to would use broken and badly accented English to figure out what the other was saying.  The reply to where we should go would be "straight".  Sadly this wasn't because we just had to continue as we were so much as that was the only directional English they seemed to know.  The drive was sweating profusely and irritated.  He glanced back at me and I pointed two completely opposite directions and told him:  "straight".   He looked surprised and then laughed until tears came to his eyes.  We were fast friends after that.  It's a remarkable feeling to meet a person at that place where it doesn't matter if you're from a completely different culture.  You have no language similarity or anything that would be common ground but you touch down with them in a place deeper than spoken language.  I find that not only extremely satisfying but an actual rush.

Whether by hook or by crook we did find the train station at last.  It looked like a relic of Victorian times architecturally but had the usual India chaotic madness around it.  So many people crowded in and around that station.  The ticket master had a nice khaki uniform but seemed rather uninterested in his job.  Samuel worked his usual magic and got the tickets we needed and we boarded the train before the heat of the day began to melt the mist off the thick jungle area on the outskirts of the town.  It was a magical thing to see this ancient country pass by me on both sides.  There's an air of something exotic everywhere you turn in India.  It's a strange place like no other. 

A young couple sat across from us.  The young woman had a wooden arm and though she was very beautiful in her blue and golden sari she seemed very sad.  Samuel asked what I would never ask:  "What happened to your wife's arm?"  It turns out she put her arm out of a moving vehicle and was struck by a passing vehicle.  They couldn't repair the damage to the arm and therefor she now had a wooden prosthetic.  The couple seemed happy yet sad, this happened not all that long ago I think.  The heat had begun to rise and this was not some nice air conditioned modern train.  The heat and humidity seemed to rise and with that the dirty smoke from the train began to really stick to our skin.  It was hard to feel anything but filthy.  The small rotating fans in the corners of each train car did little to sooth our suffering.  The bathrooms...I hesitate to call these things that because they had no bath and there was little room where you would relieve yourself.  It consisted of a hole cut in the floor where you'd defecate or urinate on the tracks rushing below....I tried not to think of what it would mean if you lost your balanced and followed your....business onto that rushing track.  No, I didn't feel very clean anymore.

We stopped at various little stations along the way and sometimes bought things from the vendors whom are ever present.  I noticed many, many broken shards of pottery on the sides of the track and asked Samuel about it.  He went up to a vender and bought some hot milk tea, it was in a little clay pot..personal size!  He said once you drink it you can simply throw it near the tracks...how about that?  Night began to fall and the train became very crowded.  I had to surrender my seat and go where I was actually assigned to sit.  It was many, many cars back away from Samuel and Romilla.  I was truthfully somewhat scared.  There were no other white people at all and it was so crowded and it was dark...what if I were robbed or something?  The people separated and made room for me.  They knew I was uneasy but were very, very kind to me...I never forgot that.  I saw the milk of human kindness on that little train car 3/4 of a world away from anything and anyone I knew.

Arrival in Mysore meant we could get a room at last and then go and sight see...I looked forward to it.  We went on a little boat ride to witness a bird sanctuary...this is Samuel, Ekishaw, Betina and I . I witnessed the city from a high hill where the Hindus had a very active temple called the temple of the Bull.  The city looked so serene from up there  .  Samuel stopped at one such temple and told me to go inside alone.  He said just take your shoes off and follow the crowd.  I don't know why he did that to be honest.  I followed the crowd and witnessed them pouring out what appeared to be very bad milk on a very black and evil looking idol.  The priests were rapt in their worship of this idol.  If you have ever watched "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" you might get some idea...though no human sacrifice or anything.  It felt very strange and very wrong somehow...I don't think my being a Christian is what made it feel that way...it just felt all wrong.  If you don't believe in spiritual things you will find things in India that will convince you in a hurry.  I know that at that moment I was glad to have God watching out for me.  The crowd was caught up in the ceremony and really it was a complete frenzy of activity...chanting...swaying....it was like the crowed become a single swaying, chanting entity and then as quick as it started it was over and we all left the hall where that evil god stared at us.  Samuel said nothing, asked no questions...he simply guided me on to the car...it was a strange thing.  I witness mad men that could do incredible feats.  They could stand on beds of razor sharp nails without injury, they could contort their bodies in ways that made them look more pretzel than human.  I had never seen anything like this before.  The city itself was quite beautiful...yes this is me...don't ask what I was thinking with this outfit .  Here's one more of me a little closer .  Here's a picture of the massive Temple of the Bull .  There was also this ancient temple they found that they were restoring to full use.  It was one of the oldest ever rediscovered .  Here's another shot of the nearby area .  It was also here that we visited what Samuel said was the second largest dome in the world .  Before it was said that you could whisper something inside and it would echo back seven times but now the pollution was inhibiting this effect...I got at least four or five echoes but it was eerie and I didn't like it so I stopped doing that.  It was an amazing place though .  Our friend Monika took a risk with this picture where the big dome was...fortunately she never fell and we never got in trouble .  Here's another shot of Mysore from a hill .  We visited a zoo as well...a little money and we were able to actually feed some of the animals...I even got to touch these rhinos .  I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that they felt pretty much like concrete.  There were of course Asian elephants as well .  The best part was a little safari where you could see tigers...they were beautiful but I was glad that I didn't have to worry about one killing me which has been the fate of so many in India .  Monika went for a ride all over town in this thing...I skipped it...I've seen enough horses in Montana .  We witnessed one of the oldest Mosques in India as well .  Romilla's family sent along a lady to care for the kids while we checked this place out.  She allowed Betina to urinate on the Mosque grounds and an angry crowd gathered and yelled at us...it could have been a very bad thing but we managed to get out of it without being beaten for which I thanked God.  We witnessed the last Maharajah's palace as well .  The palace was beautiful and the grounds were exotic .  You could also see where British soldiers had stolen things even from the floor where there was exotic stones that they took when raiding the palace.  All and all I think this was one of the happiest times I'd known.

I ate one of the most exotic dishes ever in Bangalore.  Would you believe that there was a restaurant that specialized in foods toped with silver...yes, silver.  They made the food and put very thin slices of silver on top...it was so thin that it practically powdered when touched but it was interesting to say the least.  The day was nearly done so we posed near an old British fort .  Before leaving I met Romilla's family, I actually really liked her brothers.  The one on the right had a great sense of humor and later would visit us in Madras.  God always kept me from falling apart, He never let me down and preserved me.  Things would get so tense I thought it would just kill me and then something like this trip would come up that would ease the suffering.  This was the last break from the tension I'd have before leaving India.

Let me explain that I believe Baptism to be something far more than we often make of it in the United States.  I am quite familiar with the way we baptize in water in non-denominational circles.  Usually you go with a bunch of people to anywhere there's water and have your little ceremony and go home.  I personally believe that it's much more than a little ceremony that you do because it's the thing to do.  It should be much more than that.  For me it meant in many ways a death to the lack of commitment of the life before and that being left under water if you will and then coming up out of the water is rising again to a new and resurrected commitment to Jesus Christ and this is something you do before witnesses so you can't get done with and go back to hard partying life that has nothing to do with Christianity...you grow up, you die and you come back to life with a new found commitment.  This of course doesn't mean that you never make a mistake again or something like that but it does symbolize a desire for positive change via Christ.  This is also symbolic of Christ dying for us and raising again from the dead that we might accept His sacrifice for our sin and through our belief in who He is and what He did for us have eternal life and true positive change in our own life while we yet live on this planet.  Some countries have far less tolerance of Christianity than we know here in the United States...though these days I wonder just how long that tolerance will last.  India and many other countries I've been too have situations where the person baptized can be ostracized by his family and friends and in fact it can lead to physical danger.  I remember this in India where people who had received Jesus decided to take this step and no matter the cost follow Jesus Christ.  It stunned me, it was beautiful and powerful in it's calm innocence and determination to take up the cross and follow what they believed with all their heart.

Samuel had a baptismal near his personal well and underneath the balcony of my room where I stayed on the second floor of his house.  I watched many baptisms.  They would wear their cleanest white clothes...all Indian style and go to be baptized.  They made a big deal out of it.  We were surrounded by many that had fanatic devotion to their own religions.  Some felt justified to kill those that did not believe as they did...we were watched and knew it...it was a big deal for those people.  I remember a young man named Peter who was baptized one day.  He looked almost angelic as he came out of the water.  I was inspired and touched deeply by this young man whom I'd not met before.  He had a few people that were supporting him and would go with him to protect him on his way home.  I felt that somehow this is how it should be where you commit you are not ashamed of it and knew the cost.  You didn't just say praise God when you got a new record deal, won the Super Bowl or the World Series or got a raise...it was the simple childlike faith in Christ that didn't ask for anything more than to love and be committed to Him...it was beautiful.

I am sure that at this point you must already feel that dread, the dark weight that you always know is coming when I talk about things in India...I'm sorry to say that this is not different...never in my life had I seen that good was always and I do mean always mixed with something evil, sorrowful and/or painful.  Peter, like many members of Samuel's church were not rich and so he didn't have a vehicle and relied on the public transportation and his own two feet to get where he needed to go.  This meant that after Peter's baptism he had to walk far to get home.  He walked along the busy roads and was struck by a bus along the way...later I met the man who hit him...his glasses were so impossibly thick...there was no way he should have been driving himself let alone driving many others.  This was not even the first time he had struck someone.  Peter was terribly injured.  It was in fact hard to believe that he survived at all.

Samuel got in his van and asked that I join him to go and visit Peter in the hospital.  I have never been a fan of hospitals not even here in America...who is?  You do what you have to do.  Later in my life I would find that I spent more times in the hospital than I'd like for reasons that often were far less than pleasant for my wife...but I didn't know that then, I didn't have the experience I do now.  I knew I should go and so I hopped in the van and off we went.  Traveling in that little van with the sweltering heat you kind of get used to the smells.  There's the ever present stench of pollution from the many diesel engines and the pungent odor of foods being cooked by various venders or restaurants...it's something you just get used to.  Pulling into the hospital parking lot I was immediately aware of another smell.  There was the smell of disinfectant that could be smelled clear out in the parking lot but under that was the smell of sickness...the sense of fear, sorrow...even rage and desperation...it was all there and came from the hospital in terrible waves. 

Samuel informed me that this hospital was the second largest in Asia...I don't even remember the name of that place and don't want to remember.  We approached the front door and there were families that were coming out screaming and crying for the horrors their loved ones had gone through inside.  There were coffins...yes, coffins lined up on the side of the hospital where they would put the dead in cheap boxes and give them to the families that lost loved one in this hospital of horror.  In India you didn't just bury your dead...you couldn't always find a place to do that so you would sometimes have to keep the body of your departed loved one in your house until a plot opened up for you to do what needed to be done.  Often the bodies were prepared so they would keep, I went to houses where I saw this...it is hard to deal with.  Having a little meeting while that body lies on a bed in the middle of the room...in candle light no less...I still remember it like it was yesterday.

Inside the hospital had open sewers with various bodily fluids mixing with the urine from the bathrooms.  There were gurneys with blood on them..this place was as close to hell as I'd ever yet been.  I expected a room with a few people but didn't expect what we actually found.  The rooms had hundred of people, wards that stretched as far as the eye could see.  Family members would sometimes be there giving food to their loved ones or just waiting while the person in the bed was comatose.  We made our way to the middle of the ward to where Peter lay.  Could this have been the angelic young man I'd seen before?  He had urinated on himself and they had cut up his bed sheet to form makeshift ropes to restrain his flailing hands.  His eyes were mostly rolled up in his head....I knew he would either die or be a vegetable for life.  All talk ceased as we entered the room, I was the only white person within miles of this place and they watched me intently...other families, other patients.  My heart sank as Samuel asked me to pray for Peter...how could I...oh my God, how could I pray for him like this?  Who was I?  These people know we're Christian...they've seen what happened as this young man dedicated his life to Jesus...what words could I possibly speak?  I choked on my unbelief and shock and prayed the best I knew how.  Peter continued to flop this way and that...his family watched me...and we left.  I don't even remember my trip home...don't know when the shock left enough for me to think.

One Sunday passed, perhaps another, I don't know.  There was a stir the gate before the service as several people gathered around someone.  I couldn't see and then....I couldn't believe my eyes...it was Peter!  He didn't look much the worse for wear but he was bald...I could still see the stitches in his head.  He made his way to me.  Such peace on that young man's face, no doubt, no anger at God...serenity was all I could see.  He spoke in his quiet way to me.  He said:  "Thank you, thank you visiting me...thank you for caring."  I swear I almost fainted.  I have never been so struck by anything in my whole life.  Thank you for caring?!?  It was the human thing to do wasn't it?  I mean not even Christian...the human thing to do...how could I not care?  But I heard Jesus here...please hear me, I heard the Lord saying: "If you've cared even for the least of these you've cared for me."  My heart shatters in a thousand pieces. 

Peter went back to the service things seemed as they had been.  Me?  I was never the same ever and I do mean ever again.  You see baptism really does involve death, I don't know how many times I've died and come back somehow.  Peter...Peter knows what it's like.  He was a genuine miracle.  Would you believe that the bus driver came to church after that?  I don't know if he received Jesus or not but I know that when Peter forgave him...it was powerful.  There are no pictures of this...only my testimony.  Every time I think that I might give up...I hear Peter's voice.  Later in life there were other voices that I hear telling me to never give up my faith...never surrender.  Underneath it all I think there's voices like that in all of our lives but it's not just people saying something to us...it's God saying to just hold on, don't give up, don't surrender though the road seem long.  There's still something worth believing in.  We are not without hope or God in this world.

Arrive to Madras was a strange thing for me, it was a lot like coming home in some ways yet in other ways I could sense a deep underlying change in everything.  Samuel just wasn't in the same place he was before.  Perhaps before continuing I should tell you of a conversation we had with him that may explain a big portion of the changes he was going through.  Samuel sat down with us and began to tell us about the time when he worked with a big name ministry.  He put in a video tape that showed some of the meetings.  There were thousands of people there in part because the man that was there promised to pray for everyone.  Samuel was the one that worked in conjunction with this man to not just interpret but also arrange the meetings and help pray for the people.  The camera began to pan around and a heavy rain began to pour down on the people.  The hope in their eyes and the unwillingness to leave was painfully obvious.  The missionary decided the that rainfall was too heavy to continue so he went back to his hotel room and Samuel tried to pick up the pieces and pray for that people.  It forever scared Samuel and left him with a very bitter taste in his mouth.  We were the first white missionaries he had trusted again since this happened.

My arrival to Madras came at a time when these old wounds were being reopened again...part of this was because Samuel's endless travel and occupation with ministry put a terrible strain on his marriage.  Romilla wanted her time in the sun.  Truth be known she was never meant to lead the church.  It's not that she didn't have God given abilities nor was it anything to do with the fact that she was a woman.  She simply wasn't equipped to do that job Samuel was called to do but felt she would get her pound of flesh back from from the years that Samuel was in the lime light.  He felt guilty and hurt over all that had happened and perhaps entertained the possibility that he had been wrong the whole time.  I don't believe that...the missionary he worked with screwed up but this was not the fault of Samuel.  Romilla now began to take a firm hand in the church and was rapidly becoming a cult like figure...all with the blessing of Samuel that seemed to be willing to sacrifice all to rescue his damaged marriage and was embittered from past experiences. 

I arrived to find that they had brought in another German missionary.  Her name was Monika.  Her father was providing pharmaceuticals and money for the orphanage that Samuel was running.  She was very good with the people and had become the golden child because not only was she good at what she did but her father gave so much from Germany.  This was not something I at all expected.  I was soon horrified to discover that the students we planned to train in America had all fallen away from God...Romilla had a hand in this because of her hard lined approach to Christianity.  She'd begun to rule the students and the church with an iron fist...neither they nor their families could handle the new direction.  She called it the "commandments of Christ."  You couldn't watch TV nor read anything aside from the bible without being condemned.  Samuel's weakness left a void that she happily filled. 

Samuel grew more and more distant from me during this time and Romilla had an uncanny ability to know if I read anything other than the bible.  She would endlessly hammer me for even working on my correspondence bible school material...it wore on my soul day after day.  I would try to teach about the love of Jesus Christ only to finish the service and be hammered by both Samuel and Romilla endlessly.  They would say I shouldn't stress this because the people would be encouraged to sin.  It was the first time I'd ever been condemned for telling people that Jesus loved them.  I saw the desperation on the people, the awful needs...I couldn't bear to feed them more condemnation.  I was very vulnerable because I felt that God had called me here.  I began to travel the path that Samuel had traveled.  I thought...what if I was wrong?  Maybe I was sent here to learn something.  I began to be broken down on a very basic level where I even questioned the way that believed God.  Romilla would hammer my beliefs and have an almost psychic ability to read my mind and know what I was doing...Samuel would not support me and I felt like I was dying inside.  The conditions were abominable. They lost several cooks because they couldn't bear Romilla's domineering ways so the food quality suffered and I in turn suffered with food poisoning more than once...my illness returned with a vengeance.

The services were no longer taught in English so unless I was teaching I spent the service on my knees on the concrete floor that had only a thin mat on it.  The only English I heard were the main points of the sermon.  We would travel to another very religions church and there the pastor would grill me on what the points of the sermon was.  If I wore black he would condemn that saying it wasn't fit that a Christian wear black.  I'm not sure if this had something to do with the time when many Hindus fast for one month and wear black or what.  I finally got so I could memorize the main points of the sermon and the pastor...his name was Martin didn't ask me any more.  I was stoked and asked him why he didn't ask me...he said because he knew that I was ready now...nice...talk about maddening.

This is a backdrop for the breakdown that was coming for me...every day I was torn down, I began to have horrible dreams about home.  I dreamed all the time of tornados blowing our house away and carrying those I'd loved away.  I have always been fascinated with such storms in real life but in the dreams I was horrified.  My letters became more and more erratic.  I knew that at home they were worried for me...but it's hard to call out of India...at least it was and mail was slow to go both ways.

As the story continues keep these things in mind because it is what had a dramatic effect on my perceptions...everything became a straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.  The horrific conditions...the abandonment by Samuel...the competing and aggressive German missionary...the terrible physical illness...the nightmares that robbed my sleep.  I read the bible and meditated on it to try and retain the tattered remnants of my sanity...the pain, I had to get relief from the emotional pain...I'm only glad I didn't have  gun during those days...I don't know that I could have kept from taking my own life.  I would begin to meditate in my room as the sun rose and the next moment I would realize that it had set and I didn't know where the day had gone...I felt less pain but had become very much numb to normal emotion.

I have a few pictures to share of the days in Madras when I arrived.  Here's one of me with Samuel's associate pastor Charles:     .  This was before the pressure built against me wearing shorts to the point where I gave that up pretty much...don't you just love religion?  What's supposed to bring freedom is instead used as a club to enslave people.  I was sitting on the beach once and this family walked by seeing my camera and wanted their picture taken...they were very dear:  .  I comforted me somehow.  I have no idea what I would have done without the fruit that was readily available....I gave up trying to stop the diarrhea so if I wanted fruit I just ate it .  Roadwork in Madras often saw squatter hovels arise in little mini-cities where the workers would eat and sleep.  I don't know how this van kept going to be honest.  It would get so hot during the days with little relief at night and the motor of the van is between the driver and passenger...heat radiating off that motor was almost unbearable .  Flood season brought little relief from the heat and at night it brought hordes of mosquitos.  I slept under a ceiling fan to try and get relief from the heat and mosquitos but it was the stuff of nightmares when we lost power...I'd wake up being chewed on by mosquitoes on the top of my body and bed bugs on the bottom.  The picture was taken out the front gate of Samuel's house.  At night he had two Dobermans let loose to patrol the property.  A gang of thieves killed one of them one night...it was heartbreaking...that's why you have two dogs to protect your house there...especially if you are Christian.  This picture was taken at the family gather that happened before Charle's wedding...Monkia and Samuel and I were there ...notice I wasn't wearing black LOL!  This was a North India outfit known as:  pajama jabba.  Here are some of the streets of Madras .  You never knew what you might see...a rickshaw at one moment and then the next an elephant.  We often passed a Mosque on the hill above the city...whenever they were angry with Hindu policy they would fly a red flag threatening bloody revolt against all Hindus .  Once the Hindus gathered thousands of people and brick by brick dismantled the Mosque...you could often feel the tension where you didn't know what would happen.  They wouldn't get a bulldozer or something...they'd get a crowd of thousands to make their point...scary stuff.  Little specialty shops are the norm in India...you can never go one place to get it all...this shop specialized in various metal utensils and containers...my first shot didn't have anyone in it but when they saw me taking the picture that Indian smile appeared .  I guess the guy in the foreground lost his smile....  Remember that I said that when Samuel wasn't driving Rajan would drive?  He loved to pose for my pictures too...he was so funny in that when they would force us to fast always find a way to get a hold of food...sadly it was usually too gross for me to eat...once he even shot and ate crow !  This is in Samuel's church, the kids could be so very naughty but oh my they could be very cute as well don't you agree ?  Look at this wrecking crew in the front of the church...you don't think they could be disruptive do you?  We would often times be a part of family gatherings but sometimes I wouldn't even know really why we were there .  One good thing was I tasted a wide variety of real Indian cooking .  Notice Monika and Samuel and Romilla next to me in this picture.  Sometimes we would travel far out of the city to visit little villages.  This could cause quite a stir among the local children...better than cartoons even...except they had no TV usually .  Here's the kitchen that brought me so much sickness .  From left to right we have:  Stanly, Romilla, Moses (who used to make me some really good popcorn...if he'd just leave the hot pepper powder off of it) and then Cristodus.  One night I went down to get something from the kitchen...it was dark and I heard a sound almost like falling water...I flipped the light switch only to see thousands of cockroaches all over everything...I decided to forget what I was looking for and go back to my room....  Here are Moses and Rajan posing for a picture...Rajan just couldn't get enough of the camera .  Do any of you remember Hypercolor shirts?  You know the ones that change color if it gets warm?  I gave one to Samuel...the problem was it never cooled down enough to change colors !  Last picture, this is Samuel with his son Ekishaw and daughter Betina . 

The life we live may not always seem exciting...you may not be in the mission field in a way that you'd think but the war we're in remains the same.  Faith is the world's most precious commodity.  From it I believe all good things flow.  It doesn't matter if you invest some common human decency to you fellow man or are involved in disaster relief.  The core of what is desperately needed is the same:  faith.  Without faith why would we do anything good anyway?  We must believe that our life has a purpose or our reason to exist flees from us.  I see now that though I've come home the battle is no different.  I believe that the only way to tap our true potential is through God and we can only come to God through Jesus Christ.  I've personally known what it means to live by faith...and see that bread alone isn't enough...especially when that bread makes you sick.  I don't condemn those that choose a different path, I'm simply stating what I've found in my own life.  I believe that God is the source of all things good and to leave Him out of the equation will always leave something lacking to say the least.  I've seen great good in God and in many people that have shown His love here on this earth.  Keep the faith my friends, God has never lost faith in you nor withdrawn His love from us.  God bless you all today.

This morning they declared a civil emergency and said that there should be no unnecessary travel even in the city now...probably from the downed tree limbs.  Some are without power but thankfully we've been okay in that regard.  Actually the snow is slushy and very heavy.  Lovely and I went out and got some more pictures again and I thought I'd share it with you all.  Those of you with temperature above freezing...which from all I can tell is everybody count your blessings!  Look at the scarecrow just peeking through his snowy tomb .  I didn't pose this by the way, that's how the picture was.  Remember that snow chair?  Look at it this morning after I had shoveled last night:  .  I couldn't see the pumpkin except for the little hill it made on the table!  Here's the view of our house from the driveway side:  .  I'm wondering how this could be October...I mean I've seen snow like this and it's not even remotely as cold as I've experienced but the second week of October isn't even done yet!  These shots would be fine next month even but notice all the leaves on the poor trees !  This is the front of our house today:  .  I just couldn't believe it!  It's quite beautiful though and being out there with Lovely was a lot of fun.  I've always liked this pine tree:  .  Remember when I took the pictures in the field before?  Who would have thought it would be like this today:  ?  Just look how many leaves are still on the trees at this point:  .  I tried really hard to keep the snow shots from being gray by over-exposing them some but the sky is very gray also so it's not so easy:  .  The fence had an artistic powdering of snow but it still turned out gray darn it:  .  What a day:  .  This is not the kind of fall I was expecting .  There were very few cars which didn't surprise me until this cop car passed, notice the broken branch:  .  Like I said the trees do look pretty but leaves and heavy snow don't mix .  I thought the half & half effect here was interesting:  .  Another downed branch:  .  If the golf course fountain is still running I have to wonder about the sprinkler system.  The ponds edge looked wintery this morning .  Observe Lovely's raven locks graced with snow:  .  It won't be long and there will be real winter here to stay.  I won't even know what to take pictures of once that happens!  I got this picture as the snow partially melted above the pumpkin:  .  Here's a little video clip of trudging toward the fountain that's still on in the golf course..whew, and with this I wish you all a great Sunday and week

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Thursday night brought an end to fall with one fell swoop.  Lovely brought some stuff to make it look like sort of a harvest celebration right outside our sliding glass door.  We put a pumpkin on our little glass outdoor table and very quickly it was being covered with a blanket of snow in our fist storm of the season .  The temperatures have been around freezing or slightly below.  I guess none of this was a big surprise but a winter storm warning all the way until Monday?  This is different for us even here.  Do you suppose Mr. Scarecrow has any idea what's in store for him and his buddy ?  Looking past the back fence I am amazed at how quickly things go from looking like fall to looking like winter .  The steps to the deck are quickly getting covered up ...this is nothing to how it was today when I shoveled pound after pound of very heavy and wet snow.  Now, if you'd like feel free to have a seat and look at the rest of my pictures .  If your butt gets wet don't blame me...it's the weather!  The thing I'm concerned about as much as anything is that it's sort of melting as the snow continues and that can get nasty if you've got to go somewhere in the morning which we do.  Our vinyl fence is getting caked with snow .  Check out this before and after picture.  Here's as the storm started and then it pretty much curled like a candy cane .  I think you might remember the pumpkin I have at the top of the blog here...look now !  Remember that nice chair I offered to let you sit down in...check it out now !  I guess you could say that fall has pretty much fallen and given way to winter right now...I expect I'll be getting more views like this as the season wears on

.  I hope that wherever you are the weather is a bit better..this storm here isn't even done yet, the warning goes through 6:00 AM on Monday...whew!  Have a great weekend everyone!

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. (Psalms 23: 4)

My wife and I wanted to get out and take some pictures of Billings in the fall...while it looks like fall and not winter.  Honestly she's the inspiring force with such projects because I just wouldn't do it without her.  I love how she can always push me to be more creative, more outgoing and just enjoy life more...besides she bated me with coffee at the end of our little expedition !  The city really has been beautiful though .  Our most prevalent color of the fall is yellow but soon the weather will get so cold that there will be only brown or nothing at all so enjoy it while we can I say .  The mornings have been brisk as can be...34 in fact today but the day we took pictures it was about ten degrees warmer .  It doesn't take long when I'm with Lovely to start taking some kind of artsy shots...she just brings that out in me .  Some of the trees have very dark bark and that provides a nice contrast to the golden leaves .  I do love how fall looks .  It's just that I know what's coming, that's what's tough .  These leaves laying here, their time is done .  It really is a season of change...a season where things are dying but in this valley of death there's always hope .  I saw that as I looked through the fall colors to the church steeple .  Years ago we had a terrible storm that hit our city and there was a wedding being done in this church...lightning struck the steeple right as they said:  "I do".  Can you imagine that?  They repaired the steeple and it's now more beautiful than ever...a true symbol of hope to me.  It made me begin again to think of my own valley of the shadow of death....

I remember showing up to our little airport to board the flight to India...there was a couple stops here in America first...the last one being New York and then onto London, England.  I was flying Delta airlines...they guaranteed my bags were checked all the way through this flight.  At the time the Valley of the Shadow of Death didn't look so bad, in fact it looked like a paradise of my dreams coming to pass...doesn't it often seem that way?  I know all about blind faith.  That's the faith where you hang everything you've ever believed in on one nail and never think of how fragile that nail is...you don't even consider what may happen if that nail pops out of that wall.  My excitement was really at an all time.  I was ready to put my life in the States behind me and embark on an adventure that none had even attempted from our church.  I felt strong and totally equipped..ah the ignorance. 

Traveling alone on such a long flight is really so different than having a friend with you.  I have contacts so as long as I'm not exhausted I can read or occupy myself but once I get tired it's not easy for me to read and it gets pretty darn boring.  The flight to New York didn't have much excitement at all.  This was pre-9/11 so the security wasn't so bad and things went pretty smoothly.  My arrival to New York was uneventful but that airport is huge!  Getting from one part of the airport to the next was exciting because I'd never done that on my own.  I made it with some time to spare and realized that my baggage was checked through to New York, not India...duh!  The shock hit me quickly as I rushed to find out what happened to my baggage.  I had to go far to get it and caught it just before it was confiscated by airport security and sent back to wherever they send such things.  It took a lot of effort to get my bags...the guy in charge seemed to barely have a grasp of English and I struggled to understand his accent.  After much difficulty I got my bags...rushed to check them in and barely caught my flight to England.  I was sweating hard and stressed...I was quite a site rushing on that plane I think.

God bless the Irish!  I know that my flight to England would have been pretty boring without the Irishman next to me.  He was very animated and totally funny.  He showed me just what it meant to drink Irish cream coffee until it was coming out your ears.  He asked me if I drank and I said no.  He promptly called for the stewardess and said that he'd have a bottle of whiskey, you know the little ones that you can get on a flight?  He said I'll have one for my friend here too...pointing to me...I started to protest but he quickly silenced my protests without the stewardess noticing.  She brought him many of these bottles this way...I figured it would have been easier to just pour all they had into a bucket and give it to him  .  I've never seen anyone hold their liquor like that guy did, oh yes, he was amusing alright! 

Finally I arrived to the Heathrow International Airport.  I had a nine hour layover so we contacted the Ghanaian pastor there and he agreed to let me stay at his flat for the hours I had there.  Remember my previous posts about African time?  You can take a Ghanaian out of Ghana but you can't take Ghana out of a Ghanaian!  He was late so I tried to call him...of course there weren't cell phones then so I couldn't reach him...but my faith was iron clad.  I waited and finally he showed up and drove me to his little flat.  He had another pastor visiting from Africa and his flat was very crowded so I had pretty much one chair to myself.  I was wired and had a hard time sleeping so I dozed some and ate what would be my last "normal" meal before leaving on the next flight...it was McDonalds...doesn't that figure?  I was feeling the crush of the weight of what I was about to do...the immensity of leaving my family behind for what could be a very long time...perhaps not returning to America for years...who could say?  The visiting pastor and pastor Kingsley whom we knew came and decided to pray with me before sending me on my way.  It was a powerful prayer session, I felt the hand of God so strong I felt the anointing as these guys laid their hands on me...I again felt so commissioned to do this.  The African Christians I've met are so powerful...they never ceased to inspire me.

I was exhausted to no end at this point but the flight was uneventful.  I landed in Madras for the last time...I had no idea it would be my last time.  There was no problem with getting my baggage and Samuel was waiting for me in the parking lot.  Entering the Valley of Death had never been so easy nor looked so good.  I hadn't a clue what was coming...not one clue.

I've had my eye on this one for awhile.  There's some kinda creepy movies and such and some games that can make ya jump but this one might just take the Halloween cake:

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It seems that the weather is supposed to get cooler and wetter soon.  The problem is the weather has been so beautiful that it's slowed down the changing of the leaves some and it's been more summer like than   .  None the less we couldn't resist going out while the weather permits so we took off to River Front Park to enjoy the beautiful weather and it was awesome .  There were lots of Canadian Geese and other critters and it was actually warm enough to feel hot.  The water actually looked kind of inviting .  I love reflection shots off the water but it wasn't easy to get a good shot with the geese swimming around on the other end of the pond .  I soon spotted a frog that would soon grow to be terror of the pond for the bugs someday .  I'm still a kid at heart when it comes to frogs and snakes...I had to catch this frog !  I love to take interesting shots of common things so I gave this weed a chance to be a tree .  This pond was so peaceful that right away I felt it's calming effect .  You know what I like as much as reflection shots?  Contrast shots like the golden leaves versus the blue sky .  None of this is particularly unique but it brought me so much peace I had to share it.  These flowers also are not unique but their simple beauty captured my attention anyway .  Another thing that fall offers is very bright sunshine that I always love to capture .  Now I'm not sure if it's the warmer weather or if the leaves simply aren't as striking this year as they were last year but it seems they aren't all very pretty just yet and some just aren't wanting to fall off yet .  One thing we don't have much of here in the West is as much red as some in other states enjoy however there are exception to this rule occasionally .  I appreciated the little flowers blossoming in the middle of the dead leaves, it seemed that they were so bold and not yet willing to surrender to the season's change .  This was one of the few places that held all the colors of fall with the remainder of summer greens still holding on .  This reminded me of a golden heart somehow .  The sky here is often very, very blue but sometimes that blue is even more striking than usual .  I've done these shots before and I know I'll do them again .  I still wonder at how some trees can change so quickly while others seem stubborn .  I love shots like this so much ...I don't know why, I mean I've seen it before but still I love it!  This view really looks every inch Montana .  I have no idea what these are, care to taste and see if they're poisonous ?  Some leaves wouldn't change color at all while others were dead and on the ground.  Some it made me wonder what they were waiting for .  It looks so peaceful don't you think ?  If you want to add a little excitement to the peaceful scene what do you do?  You bring your crew .  Notice how Gabby worked her way out of her clothes?  She got wet in the pond, took off her own shirt and shoes and now kept only her socks, her drink and a piece of pizza.  I like how the trees framed this shot though it was against the sun .  Look Danielle's got a monkey on her back !  Wanna pull up a chair ?  These two trees had a nice clump of red leaves around them .  Mike not only believes that he can fly but he actually can !  We had watched a funny skit which is what we were laughing about here

.  Gabby is a lot bigger challenge than the other kids now...and yes, she is a clown !  Here's the last small video clip of the day, thanks so much for joining us !  PS, I haven't forgotten my story on India never fear but this was just too good of an opportunity to miss!