Our weather took a downturn for the last couple of days with the weather either being below zero or feeling below zero.  There’s something about the temperature when it’s that low that makes the landscape look really bleak…sort of a white dune sea appears with the high winds even with only a little snow.  It’s so cold that I don’t much like going out with the camera so I turned my interests indoors again and took some more pictures of various things that I’ve collected over the years.  I used to be far more interested in weapons so when I found things abroad that seemed deadly I collected it…keep in mind it was easier to bring such things home in those days.  This is a bow with some poison darts I found in Africa.  It has some intricate paint on the leather that covers the bow.  The darts/arrows are coated in a black substance…not sure what it is…don’t want to know.  I thought it was simply tar but the guy who sold them to me told me to be very careful not to touch it because it’s dangerous.  Here’s something of a less violent nature from the Philippines…these bamboo cups can hold either coconut wine or water…I think they’re quite beautiful….another artsy view of the same containers.  This next piece is a dagger I found in Africa…it seems to be a kind of stabbing dagger.  The blade isn’t very sharp on the edges but the tip is razor sharp.  Here’s another small dagger that looks as though it were made from scrap metal….reminds me of a shank in a prison kind of.  These next blades are from India…the scabbard is made from wood…I think these are quite beautiful actually.  These next ones are from countries that I’ve never been to.  I found them in a little shop in Thailand…I believe this one is Nepalese.  It has two tiny daggers included…it’s a deadly blade that can easily crack a coconut in a single blow….I’ve seen it .  The balance of the blade is really perfect .  The scabbard of this one has several coins and unique design attached to it …the coins seem well worn, I’ve no idea how old this is.  This next one is more decorative than functional I think but I like it none the less…it is razor sharp however.  Next is a little version of the big Nepalese knife…it’s in far better condition and is one of my favorite in the collection….again notice the work on the scabbard .  The blade on this one is flawless and deadly sharp.  The next is a Burmese knife I found in a small shop…this one looks like it’s had it’s share of use…perhaps as a machete .  It’s also very sharp.  Next comes something I didn’t find abroad but rather got from my grandpa on my dad’s side.  It appears to be a bayonet…I have no idea if it were actually his or his father’s or what…it’s an amazing piece though so I keep it in the collection.  Next and finally we come to my modern piece…not a stabbing weapon or some old sword but reliable none the less.  This is my prized Glock 37 .45 automatic.  I took a course from an instructor who specializes in anti-terror classes and trains police snipers and is a former marine.  I received my concealed weapon permit almost five years ago with this weapon…not a single misfire after hundreds of rounds.  Some may hate them but for me it was simple and effective and reliable.  It has gained my respect and given me a new respect for firearms.  This is a formidable weapon.

Going through all these weapons old and new reminds me of how none of them brought me to one nation and then home again safe.  Not one weapon had the power to preserve my life and the lives of those I traveled with throughout the years.  This rather happened because of the spiritual weapons God has given every Christian.  The bible says it far better than I ever could: 

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ

God has faithfully watched over me and kept me when there was no one else that could.  I’ve walked through the value of the shadow of death and come around safely to the other side over and over again…no natural weapon could have done this for me.  The next part of my journey will be to northern Thailand to the Karen refugee camp where the Karen tribal people wage a relentless war with Burmese soldiers.  This war has raged for years…ever since the end of WWII as a matter of fact.  I had never heard of the tribe or the war….before I left I had no idea just what an impact this warzone would have on me.  The experiences I had with both life and death there would break me yet again.  Hold on because soon we will enter the valley of the shadow of death once more.

Sometimes life can be unpredictable.  Sometimes you have to decide what you’re going to do with the circumstances you’ve been handed.  Is there a silver lining to this cloud or a silver lining surrounded by darkness ?  I recognize that we’re not an island unto ourselves…there’s so much more to the big picture.  The darkness can’t last forever.  What would the value of gold be without the contrast of the common?  Since we cannot control life should we not learn to see the beauty where we can?  The turmoil of today can fade to great beauty tomorrowbut would we recognize it if we didn’t strive for a better tomorrow?  I was just about to go inside with my camera when this already glorious sunset blew my mind even further.  Yes, same sky just a few minutes later…I nearly missed it but something tugged on me to look on a while longer.  The splendor that greeted my eyes left me with nothing left save to praise God for what He had painted on the sky.  Who would have thought such color naturally possible?  Even in it’s fading glory it was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen.

This is the place where I began to reflect once again on my past journey…my return to the mission field that I had sworn not to return to.  This would not be to a country I was familiar with at all but it’s none the less the mission field.  Before I knew it I found myself on the plane Thailand bound.  This would mark the first of several journeys though I did not know it at the time.  Here I was with two missionaries.  They had both seen death and in spite of the dangers had returned to the mission field.  They were firm believers that I was to go with them this time.  I wasn’t so sure.  I know that I had peace for the first time in a long, long time.  I’m not sure if it was that I didn’t care if I lived or died or that I was just a cripple in the hands of fate.

We landed in California to find that there was serious damage to our plane…a large hole had somehow formed on the nose of the plane.  We got a night in a nice hotel and a meal ticket…yeah, things are like that now are they? 

We ate and were served by the first Filipino I had ever met.  He was very charismatic and exited to hear we were going to visit Thailand and the Philippines.  It encouraged me so much to meet someone like that.  I felt hope that maybe, just maybe this would be something that wasn’t just one hell after another.  On this note we boarded our plane for the long journey to Thailand.

Bangkok had a very orderly airport…the political problems of today were not there at the time at all.  We were greeted by Suchada who would be our guide and interpreter wherever we would go in Thailand.  Next we met with someone who would become one of the best friends I’d ever had.  He was a pastor that flew in from the Philippines to minister with us before we flew with him back to his country.  His name:  Andy Andayan.

Our first night would be in the tiny one room flat of Suchada’s sister.  There was one bed, one bathroom and that was about it.  Andy and I got the hard floor…I had a small mat for my back fortunately.  The tropical heat was ever present but I was used to that from trips I’d had before.  Andy kept me laughing with his unmatched humor…I felt that I had met my long lost brother! 

God had filled my heart with promise once again…hope for a future within His hands.  Like the sunset which promised a blessing this trip had come to me on a sea of doubt.  I knew that God had a plan and once again I was riding the wake of destiny. 

I was stunned to find so few pictures actually available in my archives…I suspect some have ended up in Lovely’s stuff which I dare not touch LOL!  What I do have I will share in future entries.  This is to wet your appetite for now.  We visited a place called Seven Waterfalls and I thought it was so beautiful.  This is Andy and I visiting a large Buddhist temple.  Last one is of one of the several elephant treks I’ve been a part of.  Yes, I got to “drive” and yes, it was scary!  Andy got the best seat I think.  Tickling the ears to go right or left was a totally new thing to me LOL!

Well, here we are again, time for another blog.  I’ve been throwing around how to continue my story and part of the problem has been the increase of pictures I have to scan to continue.  The other problem is the story before the story which I think needs to be told. 

First thing’s first.  Our weather has gone from fifties to cold to thirty-five right now.  The predicted freezing rain didn’t happen and I’m really thankful for that.  I thought I’d get out there and bring some good pictures of the day but you know what?  Thaws aren’t always very pretty to look at.  I got a couple shots before moving on.  I’ll share these with you first off.  The shadows make for places where the snow tries to hide from the warmer temperatures.  I have a tree that I really like to get pictures of/through.  The sun always seems to find itself behind this tree when I get out there with my camera and I just like the shot it provides….looks desolate don’t you think?  We had a shock warm front followed but a cold and now today another warm up…the clouds seem to be struggling to make up their mind which way to go.  The early deep freeze this year left the trees shedding leaves at funny times.  I can hardly believe that I can still find leaves that recently let go at last only to be frozen in the snow. 

Onward and upward right?  My return from India found me in a quandary on many levels.  I no longer felt at home at home.  We were in the middle of a move to Idaho which was also a big deal for all of us.  It was a big shock and a lot to deal with all at once.  Sometimes it can appear that life is a huge mess but it doesn’t mean God is out of control…it’s just circumstance working against our faith. 

Making a long story short I began to focus on getting my health back and finding what to do with my life.  Our move to Idaho actually helped move on…we were all dealing with change together and that helped.  I finally found the first love interest in my life.  She was the pastor’s daughter and once again I made the mistake of assuming I knew what God was doing.  In those days we traveled extensively throughout the US and then returned to Idaho to work with a local church there.  It didn’t take long to see that the pastor’s daughter was not interested enough in me to stick with our relationship when I was away.  A breakup was inevitable and though it was painful at the time I’m so glad now that it happened.  Things between us never would have worked out and it led to me finding the real love of my life today…but that is a story for another day.

A missionary came to our church and she was about to go on a mission to the Philippines and Thailand.  She was talking about her mission experiences and had it fixed in her head that I was supposed to go with her team on her next trip.  I had pretty much recovered from my physical problems after India but the emotional issues were far from over.  I had no interest in traveling abroad anymore and I certainly wasn’t interested in the Philippines or Thailand…I knew nothing of those places and had never even considered that there was another place for me outside of India…I was very much all or nothing in those days.  This missionary was very, very persistent but during a lunch after a meeting I made it clear I wasn’t interested.  This missionary decided that she would have an offering in that little church to pay my way to go with her team.  I as a lot like Abraham who laughed when he was told he’d have a child at 100 years old (Genesis 17: 17).  I thought there was no way in heaven or hell I could ever get money from that little church to pay my way.  I smiled thinking God had blown it for sure this time.  Imagine my shock when that little church paid my way!  It appeared I was on my way to Thailand and the Philippines!  I had no idea the change this would bring to my life.  It would lead to many trips over the next many years and lead me to my wife of 13 years just last December!

Keep in mind that I have a lot of pictures and a lot of years to cover in this next portion of blogs to follow.  Digging through the archives makes me cringe and yet feel excited at the same time.  It’s been a long time since I’ve gone through all of that but I will do it….however there may be a few blogs between now and when I get the first one together…just not sure yet.  In the mean time since I was short on pictures this time I looked around the house a bit and thought I’s share some pictures of our little treasures that we’ve collected now and then from the various countries we’ve been to.  I hope you enjoy these.  This first one I found while in Thailand…I’ve seen many such spiders quite alive in the past but this one was all preserved and in a nice case…wanna give ‘im a kiss?  These little jars are from the Philippines…I always like the Filipino crafts.  I have a fairly large weapon collection that ranges from poisoned arrows from Africa to Muslim tribal machetes from the Philippines…I will include that at some point however for now less violent treasures.  I have always dreamed of having a classic Filipino house but the dangers of 9/11 ended that little dream….again…a story for later on.  Here is a little glass vile (it used to hold incense) from Japan (yet again another story).  I have always appreciated the beauty of Japanese things…makes my heart long to return.  This next set is a salt and pepper shaker with a soy sauce jar .  I now can hardly stand a meal without rice…Japanese Botan rice remains my favorite followed by Thai Jasmine rice…my eating habits have radically changed from what they were before my travels.  These little figurines are all from Japan…I love them all…each one is from a different area in Japan or a gift and they all bless me so much.  Lovely has them well arranged but that’s a dark corner thus I put them in a little spot where I could photograph them individually.  The kegs of sake in Japan are so much more beautiful then the ones we have here…even that is an art it seems.  We found this miniature one and had to bring it home.  No, I have not yet tapped this keg!  Look at the beauty of this language.  This was the lid of a box containing a tea set (of course).  They packaged things so carefully…that alone was a selling point for me!  This is a figurine that some dear friends of ours got for us(God bless the Takahashi home…this means you Kazu and Anna!).  Next I have a few piece from Africa…this is actually my mom’s …it’s got several “friends” that mom has around the living room…gotta love giraffes!  This is a piece from Thailand and is a small replica of the large bells often put on elephants….brings back some great memories!  Here is a carving from Africa that I particularly like…I think it really has so much of Africa in it.  Here are some masks…one zebra and one giraffe.  Mom has a particular “thing” for elephants…it’s one thing to see them in a zoo and quite another to ride them in the jungle let me tell you.  Here are two elephant carvings…one is Indian the other is African…can you tell which is from where ?  India often has sandal wood for their carvings and they love to intricately carve…the African ones are more often mahogany and have less detail…I love them both!  The last one here is another bell from Thailand.  I can’t wait to see what God has in store!  The past has been rich and blessed in spite of difficulties.  ‘09 I’m determined to be a year of faith for me.  I’m standing on Hebrews chapter 11 for this year.  Blessings to you all, I hope you enjoyed this entry.

This has been a trying start to the new year in some ways.  We have had the brutal cold return followed by several thaws and freezes.  It’s a mess on the streets and I’ve not been able to walk like I want for a long time.  Many parking lots have huge mounds of black snow which is anything but pretty.  Our church had a pipe break in the extreme temperature shifts (it’s an old building)and this fuels my weariness with the hardest part of winter that comes when the holidays are over and yet the heavy snow is still likely to come…the heavy stuff that can’t be snow blown away.  This is the perfect time to kick back and blog don’t you think ?

I know that many have heard of the old adage that says you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet…I couldn’t think of a very clever way for that to headline this blog so I stayed with another saying that has the same principle behind it:  Breaking the Wishbone.  I’ve learned that in life there’s very little that you can wish for that doesn’t have some sort of cost involved.  Every wish has a cost.  Sort of like that story about the monkey’s paw that you could wish on but the consequences are not what you may expect.  Wish for a million dollars and someone dies for it or you fall down and break your neck in the parking lot and sue the hospital…yeah you get your wish but at what cost?  I talked before about a second part to my coming home blog and this is it. 

I remember that when I was in high school life seemed pretty black & white.  There was simply right and wrong and I didn’t think much about what people were going through that made them make the decisions they did.  I figured that going into the mission field was the ultimate thing to do.  I sometimes witnessed to my friends about Christ but trust me I was not a saint in high school either, I had my struggles and didn’t always do right at all….I don’t do things perfectly now either by any stretch of the imagination.  However I did something that I had no idea would effect me now twenty years later in such a dramatic way.  I gave a book to a friend of mine called “He Came to Set the Captives Free”.  My friend didn’t say much about it and before we knew it we went our separate ways after graduation….I didn’t even know that this division was a wishbone breaking.

I went on to try and fulfill my dreams the best I knew how on the mission field…if you’ve followed my stories of my life abroad…don’t worry, I’m not even close to done with that.  I was broken…shattered in every way there is to be shattered.  I came home with ruined health…forty-five pounds lost, my emotions were a mess and I felt that surely I had failed at everything I’d ever tried to do in my life.  I found out quickly that the best of intentions don’t necessarily protect you from a terrible beating.  My friend that I’d given the book to did everything from bull riding to serving in the Air Force and finally a combat medic in the United States Army.  It seemed we couldn’t be more different.  My beliefs in Jesus were (and are) the only thing that held me together my friend had strayed far from his times at the church and he’d become a Wiccan.  I had created a Myspace account and found my friend via our same high school. He was in Iraq at the time and we found it really good to reconnect.

Finally we were able to meet in person after all these years.  We had a barbecue…we affectionately call him:  “The Grill Sergeant”.  We had many talks about Christ versus his beliefs and he told me in no uncertain terms that he was pretty well set where he was.  I couldn’t help but continue to pray for him…God was doing something, I just knew it.  I never felt to judge him…I’d seen terrible failure in my own life and didn’t feel I could judge him at all.  Time went by and we exchanged calls and then I got a call that I would have never expected….after 20 years my friend said he wanted to come and receive Christ as his personal savior.  I was stunned!  I had told him for the longest time it was time for him to come home…not just here to our state but to God who had been calling him all these years.  We had both seen the shattering of dreams and the heartache of trials that can come from the horror of human suffering we’d witnessed yet after all had seemed broken and lost this day came…20 years later!

I led my friend in the sinners prayer and saw him come to the church for the first time in ‘08.  I saw that beyond all human hope there is indeed a living God that orchestrates all things.  I’ve seen this before in many ways but this was a most personal and touching miracle.  I’ve seen many wishes broken but this one came to pass…this is how I enter into ‘09 with more promise than I’ve known in a long time.

I watch the icy grip of winter begin to struggle with the thaw outside.  I know from cold hard experience that winter is far from over yet I see the promise of the inevitable none the less.  The brown grass isn’t very pretty today but I know that it will eventually be green and thriving.  Everywhere I see the icy grip of winter losing it’s hold.  I know it will be back but it’s time is running out.  Nature knows the times and the seasons better than we as people do sometimes so I try to take a lesson or two from it. 

I love the prairie behind our house, it’s everything to me…my favorite time is when it seems to be a giant green see with the grass moving with the wind but today I look out and I see that coming again though there’s still patches of snow .  Some say it’s bleak but to me it’s beautiful in it’s own way.  The winter sun stares at me from above…I see that bit of blue…it can’t hide !  The days are slowly getting longer.  It’s no banana belt but the gravel is showing itself now too .  What’s my whole point here?  Well, I guess the wishes you make might seem to leave you broken to the point of no return yet I encourage you to travel the route of faith though it may at times be treacherous.  What may seem impossible today can blossom into beautiful things tomorrow.  Don’t surrender your faith…don’t underestimate God’s ability to use the worse of situations to your good in the long run.  God bless you my friends, though the snow may linger here and there and we could get some pretty good storms before it’s all over…I smell spring in the air…it can’t be stopped nor will God ever give up on you.

Has it been three years?  Has that much time gone by already?  We have a new reason to celebrate the New Year these days.  Things were pretty tense just three years ago.  Lovely went into labor with a baby we weren't supposed to be able to have.  We'd lost a baby the year before and I nearly lost Lovely too.  Now we found ourselves yet again and the hospital where our son was born and now our second daughter was on her way. 

It's a frightening thing to see the normally calm doctors kick into gear when things aren't going as they should, I saw this happen in a flash and the words "emergency caesarean" floated to my ears.  We quickly went to the operating room where to my astonishment they allowed me to suit up and go in with Lovely.

Those who know me realize that I hate all things to do with needles and of course surgery...who likes surgery?  The doctors in the emergency room were quite calm and cordial.  They listened to softly playing music as the surgery began.  I remember things like the smell of my sterile mask...the smell of the operating room but most of all I remember looking over that sheet and seeing my wife opened up and Gabriele being brought out into this world. 

I've always thought that the moment of birth is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  Such wonderful perfection...the impossibly tiny human being that has not just the DNA from my wife and I but the very finger print of God Himself.  Seeing that is beyond amazing.

Now we stand here three years later able to celebrate the miracle of her birth another year.  We all know now that Lovely works to make things pretty artistic...this was no exception...we stayed up not partying on New Year's Eve but preparing for the next day...things had to be right.  It seems fitting to usher in the New Year like this somehow!  Every Princess has to have her cake of course!  The whole setting turned out well I think. 

I know that the time is coming when there may not be so few candles but for now I can enjoy the simple things in life.  Even the trimmings this year were very pink but that seems to be what the little one likes so why not?  Every little princess needs her treasure!  I even like the paper on these gifts! 

The stage was set for the little Mrs. to come up stairs...I don't think she really understood it was her birthday celebration...Christmas just passed after all but this is the site that greeted her.

She got a little wand to use....to hit balloons of course!  She doesn't need to use her wand to grant my wish...she and the children and of course my wife are the greatest granted wishes I could ever have.

She's sort of experiencing shock and awe here

I didn't make a '09 entry...this is actually my first.  I guess for me I've been saying in many of my comments on other people's blogs that I feel my greatest hope for '09 is carrying over from '08.  It's got nothing to do with the economy or powerful political figures.  It's rather the what's mattered to me regardless of other things that come along.  God is first and foremost the most important to me...when there's nothing left.  He will remain the most important to me...I can't be a good father without him, I can't be a good person without Him...I'm nothing without Him...He's not "extra credit" rather He's essential for amounting to anything not just in this life but the life to come.  My family is certainly next...they are the physical reminders of the blessings God has given me.  I couldn't ask for more because the culmination of all I've hoped and dreamed for is found in them.  I enter '09 with faith...my youngest daughter's middle name.  Without faith it is indeed impossible to please Him.  I'm so grateful to my friends here on spaces as well, I've come to think of you all as family as well.  Years ago I would have laughed at that...friends via the Internet?  Today I'm humbled by the goodness of people I've found here.  Thank you all for showing the blessing of God to me in so many ways.  I love ya all!